


Sometimes your life don't go exactly how you planned

by Supersimpletrashcan



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Hotdaga
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, I'm a serious writer :), Kinda, M/M, not really I just wanted to write some Angst, they can be food in this but I wrote em as people???, this is uhhh sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:46:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supersimpletrashcan/pseuds/Supersimpletrashcan
Summary: Maizey just wanted a nice wedding. Afterwards there was a fun reception planned. But then, Maizey's world comes crashing down. Her wife is dead, she wasn't even real in the  first place, Maizey herself isn't real, and most of her friends aren't real and are dead now. Before she knows it Maizey's in space with  french fries and a can of soup. It's just like the song says!





	1. After The Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Hhh sorry if this is bad lmao

They were a few weeks into their journey to Tomat-0. The first few days had been tense,Gene and Maizey threw themselves into anything they could do to ingnore the sadness they felt over the loss of not only all their friends,but Gebra. Gene soon found humor to be a good crutch,and Maizey spent hours analyzing maps,working on the ship, anything to keep her from thinking about Gebra. After a few weeks Maizey ended up hiding away in her quarters on the ship and the only time anyone would see her was when they would make stops at planets for supplies or just to take a break from the cramped ship or to get something to eat. When she was out of her room, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She still cracked her dark yet hilarious jokes (although sometimes too often to suggest she was alright) and just kept being a badass in general. Mike and Gene were worried of course, but Maizey didn't seem like she wanted any help,so they usually just left her alone.

Maizey was holed up in her room more often than usual one day,which really didn't sit right with Gene, so he decided to check In on her.  
"Hey Maiz, everything alright?" Gene said as he knocked on Maizey's door. His question was greeted with the sound of paper shuffling,a book closing,and what sounded like something being pushed under something. Gene had very good hearing and could usually tell what something was,he's an extremely well written character after all.  
Maizey opened the door,she looked like a mess despite her best efforts. Her clothes were all messed up (her wedding dress was ripped with so many holes),her hair was a mess (moreso than usual),and her eyes were red and puffy,like she had been crying.  
"Hey Gene! I'm doing fine thanks!" Maizey said as she closed the door on Gene. But before she could close it all the way, Gene put an arm in between the sliding door so it would open back up. "Maizey you're obviously not doing fine,let's talk okay?" Maizey reluctantly agreed. "It's Gebra,isn't it?" Gene asked as he walked into Maizey's room. Maizey froze and turned around "how did you know-" Maizey started to say,but before she could finish Gene cut her off "because she was my sister,Maizey. Even if she's technically not real,it still felt like this was someone I had grown up with. Hell,we even did our secret handshake! It hurts I know,but you cant keep hiding from everyone and everything Maizey." Maizey realized she would have to eventually come to terms with what happened,whether she liked it or not. Maizey pulled out a photo album from under her bed.  
"I was going to give this to Gebra at our wedding. It doesn't matter now though," she gave a sad smile, "with her being dead and all." Gene took the album from maizey and decided to look through it with her. Maizey pointed out important photos. Their first date,where Maizey had taken Gebra to dinner and then they went to a park. There was a picture of them posing with a statue of some dead guy, giving him bunny ears. Another time,on their two year anniversary,where Maizey tried to cook dinner so Gebra would be surprised after work. The picture is of Maizey posing in front of a burnt dish with Gebra visible calling and ordering a pizza. They watched a movie and ate pizza together and they both loved it. Maizey started to cry. The next page was a picture of when Maizey and Gebra accidentally proposed to each other at the same time. The picture was taken at the exact time they both pulled out the ring and gotten down on one knee. It was in front of a fountain in some plaza at night. All was well. The last page was empty. "This was where our wedding photos were going to go,not anymore I guess," Maizey closed the album. "Guess we should go check on the ol soupster,see if he's returned?" Gene asked. So they did.

Mike Soup returned from his latest stop with plenty of supplies to last a while. And they all decided to have lunch together. A blanket was found and they sat on the floor of the minestrone eating lunch, enjoying each other's company. All was well, and for the first time since the wedding, Maizey was hopeful for the future.


	2. Minnestrone Sad Times

One night maizey couldn't sleep. This happened most nights,but on this Particular night,she couldn't sleep. Maizey tried to think about what her life would be like if the wedding had never happened. Would she be happy? Would she still befriend the same people? It was strange to consider, her life could have been extremely different if not for the witch. As she was laying there she heard soft guitar music and what sounded like singing. She knew it wasn't coming from Gene because he was in the room across the hall and the music sounded further away then that. It was probably space hitchhikers. Maizey was so tired of those fuckers. They showed up and set up camp where pods could dock at the ship,it took forever to make them leave. Maizey sighed as she got up to tell them to stop. As she walked down the hall of the minestrone,she realized the music was coming from Mike's room. Maizey peeked around the corner, and there was Mike Soup. He was playing a song and singing. The song sounded strange, it took Maizey a minute to realize it was a duet. He sang some parts,then stayed silent for a certain amount of time and sang harmonies by himself. The song was a melancholy one, Maizey wasn't sure what it was about,but it definitely brought tears to her eyes. Maizey assumed it was a song from the war, because she had never heard it,and Mike had never talked about it. Mike never really talked about the war,he mentioned having an "old friend" from the war (the one they were going to visit) and that was pretty much it. Some nights Mike would yell things like "I'm sorry" and "don't leave me too" as he slept,and then he would bolt upwards In a cold sweat(she had seen it several times before). Maizey had no idea what that meant, but she had to guess it was related to the War,as any time someone asked about it,Mike brushed it off mumbling something about night terrors and it being "nobody's bloody business". After a while Maizey and Gene stopped asking. 

 

A few weeks later they had almost approached Tomat-0. Maizey and Gene were helping Mike Soup run the ship. Suddenly,the Minnestrone got hailed. Chili Pirates suddenly appeared on a screen on the wall of the Minnestrone. Mike ordered Maizey to fire the torpedoes,but he had forgotten to buy some. The Minnestrone was hit by the Chili's torpedoes and spiraled down,out of control,towards Tomat-0.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a filler chapter. Hopefully next one is longer!!


	3. Sometimes you get marooned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter this kinda picks back up?? This was more me trying to stay within Canon and not writing too ooc.

Maizey awoke on a strange planet. It took her a moment to realize that she was on Tomat-0. She checked herself over, and she was perfectly fine. Maizey probably had her holographic nature to thank for that. Maizey grabbed a walkie-talkie that was lying next to her. "Maizey to Minnestrone. Over." No response. She tried again,"Minnestrone, do you read me? Over." Maizey assumed she was thrown from the Minnestrone during the crash,and that her friends were out there somewhere. They had to be alive,she had to believe, Maizey didn't think she could handle more people she cared about dying. She decided to get a move on, because she didn't know what could pop out at her and attack her,or something like that. "Oh wow, okay. Hey," said a voice from a bush. Maizey held the walkie-talkie above her head,ready to throw, "Who goes there?" The voice replied "Oh, no, no, hey, come on, nothing to worry about here. Just a Plupple, passin’ through."  
Maizey was confused, plupple? This had to be someone messing with her. "You phantom weirdo,show yourself!" She demanded to the bush. It felt weird to say out loud. Suddenly, a blue peach jumped out of the bush. He explained to Maizey that he was a plupple, a fruit that was kind of like a peach,but sexier and blue,and that he was named Garce. Maizey told Garce that her ship crashed. He offered to help find the rest of the crew,but Maizey didn't trust him. "You don't trust me? Plupples cant lie!" Garce replied. He proved this point by making another plupple lie,which made the plupple explode. Maizey decided that this was probably her best bet,and asked Garce to take her to the ship. Hopefully they could all find Mike Soup's friend and get out of here.

As Garce led Maizey to the Minnestrone,she explained her situation to Garce. "Wait you're from Earth? Wow okay,yeah" Garce asked.  
"Why, you've heard of it?" Maizey asked back. Garce told Maizey about the Space News and what he had heard from it. "Big evil guy should consider eating this planet, way things are going." Garce said. Maizey was confused, "Well why would you say that?"  
Garce told Maizey that plupples were pretty much a bunch of idiots, including Garce,an extremely well educated plupple. As they walked,they passed another plupple. He was very small. "Hey Smeech," Garce said. The plupple, Smeech, made a cute little noise before plupping away. "Say hi to the grandkids for me!" Garce called after him. 'Wait a minute,' Maizey thought, 'Grandkids? Does that mean he's fu-' Her train of thought got cut off by Garce talking again. "These guys are all dumb as hell! And they're all marching to the beat of the ol Dr Goondis" "Dr.Goondis?" "Oh,yeah. This real nutty old guy made himself a home here after the Space Wars. He used to be a real technical whiz,super charismatic dude. Hes been acting kinda funny for a while. The plupples love him though!"  
Maizey thought for a moment,"Space Wars? Maybe this is the guy Mike Soup wanted to meet."  
"I hope not, dude's cracked. Oh watch out for-"  
Garce didn't finish his sentence before Maizey fell. Down,down,into a deep,dark cavern.  
"Huh,I mean,oh well." Garce started the trek to where Mike Soup and Gene were,he had some business to attend to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rythmic chanting* smeech fucks smeech fucks smeech fucks


	4. Didn't Plan on plupples for your honeymoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You all know the drill, basically what happens t the end of season 3 but I sprinkle in headcanons like a champ

Maizey landed hard on the stone ground. She got up, brushed herself off and cracked open a glow stick. Maizey scanned the room, it was full of plupples. These plupples weren't like Garce, they looked dumb as hell. "Can any of you help me? I'm a friend of Garce, please do any of you- I'm just trying to-"  
The plupples began to plup and coo. Maizey begins to panic a little "Please help me, I'm trying to find my ship so I can-"a plupple hit her foot, she picked it up. "Please tell me there's a way out of here!" Maizey was getting desperate, talking to alien food. "There's a way out of here!" The plupple said, maybe a little too happily. It exploded. Maizey wanted to scream in frustration. She just wanted to save her wife and now she was stuck on an alien planet surrounded by dumb blue peaches. Suddenly, Maizey heard a deep Bellowing. "What the hell, what is that?" Maizey asked to no one, puzzled. The bellowing happened again. Realization dawned on Maizey "Is that...Dr. Goondis?"  
And then, a voice "Don't worry, I am Dr. Goondis " he giggled maniacally, like a cartoon supervillain, and made a noise like he saw something disgusting. Maizey took offense to that, but not really. The plupples began to chant "Dr. Goondis". Maizey felt worried but held her ground, this Dr. Goondis guy knew Mike Soup right? All she had to do was mention him and she'd be in good standing. Hopefully. Before she knew it, Maizey was swept away by the plupples and carried further into the Cavern. So much for standing her ground

When they arrived the ugliest creature Maizey had ever seen was standing in front of who maizey could only assume to be Dr. Goondis. He looked...dazed. Confused. Like he didn't know where he was or what was going on. His hair was sticking out of bandages that looked like they were more for cosmetic purposes than Medical. His outfit was simple. An off-white shirt, a brown robe, yellow pants, and brown slippers. He wore a crown on top of the bandages. But the worst part, the part that drew Maizey's attention the most, was his face. Dr. Goondis had a web of scars starting from his nose and branching off into several lines on his face. Maizey had to stop looking at him though because the ugly creature had started talking.  
"...and I see we have an interloper in our midst," the awful being, Joblet if maizey heard correctly, said. Maizey rolled her eyes.  
"My name is Maizey, " she said curtly, "and I have to leave.  
Joblet began his long speech, "Oh, it speaks! Well, Maizey, I’m not here to dictate the course of your plight. Us Plupples aren’t fit for decision-making. Yes, sir, we tend to leave matters of importance up to our wise master." He paused for a minute for the Dramatic effect like some kind of asshole before continuing "With that being said, plup your plups together for the venerable Dr. Goondis!!" He was finally being acknowledged, and he stood up from his throne to address the crowd.  
"Hello. I love you. I love all my plupples." His voice was robotic sounding, like he wasn't the one coming up with his words. Then, he began to introduce himself, "I am the man named Doctor Goondis. I am the glimmering beacon, and I’m both the mayor and the sheriff. Approach me now, and you won’t get hurt."  
Maizey was fed up with this egg and his ridiculous robot voice "I demand to know why I'm being held against my will!" She cried.  
"You’re charged with various crimes, including allegedly harassing my dearest Plupples," he replied.  
"Excuse me-"  
"Don't worry, you will soon go to jail!"  
Then that asshole Joblet cut in, venerable Dr. Goondis, what means of trial shall we grant this criminal?" He was such a brown noser.  
Dr. Goondis took a second to figure it out before deciding on her punishment. Maizey was going to have to fight a giant plupple.  
Maizey was done, she didn't care about is trying to be cordial anymore (not that she had been doing a very good job of that in the first place). "This is ludicrous!" She cried "My home planet is being devoured by a madman right now. I don't have time for this!"  
Dr. Goondis said he would delay the trial so he could "get more sane". Maizey didn't see how that was even possible. Then Joblet ordered Maizey be taken to a holding cell to wait for Dr. Goondis to get more sane. She couldn't give up that easily! She had to think. Then, Maizey remembered what Mike had told her. "Dr. Goondis," she yelled as she was being carried off "please you can't do this to me, I'm a friend of Mike Soup I'm just trying to save my wife and get home!"  
She saw Dr. Goondis get a look in his eyes, like he was trying to remember something that wasn't there. He didn't respond, however, and let Maizey get carried off. 

Maizey sat in her cell, not caring anymore. There was no point, her friends were missing, her wife was dead, she's not even real apparently. Neither is Maizey. She decides to listen to the Space News as a distraction, to try and get her mind off of things, but it doesn't work. They were just talking about the dark master eating the Earth. There really was no hope. Maizey started to cry and she began to fade out. Then, from the radio, "...and let's take it back to one more song, this beloved ballad from Sweet Gene and the Risky Fixins."  
And a song began to play.  
"Sometimes your life, don't go exactly how you planned..."  
Maizey felt determined, she began to believe in herself again. She stopped fading and appeared at full brightness. Maizey knew she would make it through this, she just had to try. For her wife, for her friends, for the people of Earth. She had to succeed. Maizey didn't even realize she was saying this out loud until she heard a voice from the shadows. "I'm guessing you'll need some help?"  
Maizey whipped around, "Who was that?"  
The voice stepped out from the shadows, and was very... tiny? "I'm Pam, and I'm pissed." Maizey put her face in her hands. It was going to be a long few days.


End file.
